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My stupid sister says she wants to be a Sudanese baby in Darfur so Daddy will love her. Now she’s gone AWOL. Mommy says when we find her this time, she’ll wish she was a motherless orphan. It’s just emotion talking; we’re famously emotional. Daddy’s famous for loving children in Darfur. The kids who disappear. He gets their pictures into the paper. He gets their names “out there.” He leaves the door to his office open, even on sick days, but we know not to disturb him when he’s working, which is always. Even with the interviewer, he was eating just enough to take his pills and with his other hand he was sending emails about missing children. He took over my room for his sick bed and most of my sister’s room for his files and folders. Do you see why I feel like a refugee? she said, last time she left. Daddy gets up early when he goes to bed at all. He says, Evil doesn’t sleep and neither can the truth, and someone who could leak the truth is always at a desk in another time zone. But he should sleep. He’s not getting better, even with our marrow. Me, I’d like a regular birthday with candles and presents. I want to change the world, too, but closer to home. I told the interviewer: Everyone can do something. If teaching Shakespeare is helpful, I’ll do that. See what he has to say about politics. What I should have said: If strongly-worded emails could stop kidnappings, I’d drop out of the eighth grade and save whole villages before lunch. Maybe my stupid sister’s gone to Africa this time. Daddy can get her picture in the paper. Mommy’s crying and I have to wonder why wouldn’t she be.

Original Copyright © January 15, 2007 as Daddy Loves Darfur
Revised Copyright © January 22, 2026 as Daddy Loves Sudanese Babies

I’m helping Dad break into his house. The doors are unlocked but he can’t use them. They could fall from their hinges and he wouldn’t step over them, wouldn’t cross the threshold, wouldn’t pass through the frame. We’re standing before one now. Don’t poet me, he says, doors are not metaphors. He’s right to discourage me; I translate everyone into bad verse, sometimes out loud. Just now I pictured Dad “tackled by memories” at every doorway because he played high school ball. Cheesy, but I use it to stiff-arm season-ending thoughts. That linebacker sprawled across the welcome mat where she collapsed coming home from their anniversary dinner? The linebacker with the boobs? That’s Mom. She won’t be getting up. Dad’s pain is real, but for me it’s a chance to sketch with the telestrator. See how the weak-side end-around avoids the dead wife. The obvious play is an out-route at the pantry, but that leads to the accessible entry he built for his grandson sidelined by an IED. There are losses in every direction, shut-down defenders at every door. His best man was clotheslined and dropped for a loss at the entrance to the garage. I risk telling him what I’m thinking, and he laughs without mirth and punches me. So we might get through this. But we never make it inside. The memory of Buster sprawled at the slider off the deck where he collapsed scratching at the glass takes Dad to a knee out of more than fatigue. He’s my wife’s Dad, actually. He hasn’t a hint of a bald spot. I touch his shoulder, speak his name, call him coach, help him up. He lets it happen, hates still living, wants to go. He’s offered us this house because he thinks we walk thoughtlessly through doors.

original story Copyright © January 10, 2007
revised story Copyright © January 20, 2026


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The pen name davidbdale honors my mother Beatrice (Bea) and my father Dale

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