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I hate who my dog hates. Not just the mailman, though he’s a good example, but we differ on who to love. I’ve seen the way he looks at other men, women too, with large-eyed, cross-species admiration. If I had to be a man, says the look, I’d be a man like you. It never squares with who I am. For all their famous loyalty, the dogs I know hedge their bets. I have to wonder where Baxter would go if I left the front door open. He loves my ex-wife, I see that, perhaps for the same reasons I do—I hope not all of them!—but he also seems quite taken with her new boyfriend, and lawyer. Then again, he’s fond of trash bags. He gets up creaky from his rug at the sound of a car in the driveway and then, as if they were shouldering sides of beef, bounds hungrily to the door when they arrive. His tail thumps the umbrella stand; he wants them in his house. They’ve come to collect some signatures. I’ve been avoiding the mail, and now the statute of limitations on their willingness to unmolest me has expired. Ink must be spilled. We’re sitting together at a rickety table on the most uncomfortable chairs I can find. With one hand she riffles papers that will unrelate us until death does us unpart. With the other hand her nails lay claim to Baxter’s favorite scratchy spots. How well I know those spots, those nails. The boyfriend witnesses everything and countersigns and seals. So now he’s her notary, too?! I feel a tiny strangled growl each time his little seal squeaks. And though he knows better, he speaks. And when he says the words “custody of the pet” I lunge without warning.

Copyright © January 19, 2007

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I had been seeing her, always at the same place, always muttering to the same or similar ducks, for weeks before I ventured to speak to her. If I had not had crackers in my pocket I would never have begun our little commerce with an offer of food, but as I stretched my hand across the impossible gulf between us there they were, each a simple orange square, pierced by fork points, twinned with another by a swipe of peanut glue, six such pairs arranged in three ranks of two files each, edge to edge, back to indistinguishable lightly salted back, girdled in cellophane. They had been meant for the dogs, who watched in alarm. Think I can’t get crackers? she asked me. Thinks I can’t get crackers! Not bothering to unwrap them then, I dispensed the packet to the dogs, who tumbled over one another and crushed the crackers to crumbs. Her crew and she have burglarized my home repeatedly since, and so haphazardly I no longer lock it for fear they’ll shatter the rest of the windows as thanks. She leads them in, as she first led them to my door, and if asked why, I suspect her explanation would involve the offer of food. We curl together now, at night, the dogs and I, sometimes in bed, more often beneath it, and huddle head to tail or paw to head or hand and listen for the door. I’ve moved their bowls upstairs. They’re hungry and unwell but rarely vicious, she and those she brings. Whatever made me think I could give a little, without offering all, I regret having thought, but I’m happy when everyone gets a little something, and that the dogs and I have a bed and a home where visitors feel welcome.

Copyright ©1997

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299-WORD NOVELS

Character, conflict, emotional impact. And sentences! Everything you want in a novel, without one extra syllable.
  1. davidbdale's avatar

    Thank you so much, anhinga, but I wouldn't want to try it without the other 199. —David

  2. davidbdale's avatar
  3. anhinga's avatar

    All you need is 100 words to make an emotional impact. Touching.

  4. Unknown's avatar

    Brilliant, brother. Just simply brilliant.

  5. davidbdale's avatar

    This Very Short Novel has a strong resemblance to Simple Lessons of War from almost 20 years ago, but is…

Behind the Pseudonym

The pen name davidbdale honors my mother Beatrice (Bea) and my father Dale

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